It can be said that when there is a change in circumstance, what is perceived to be a void is created. A space that needs to be filled. This is true in the case of lovers, time, finance, friends, love and more.
When you break up from a long-term relationship, weekends can initially stretch out in front of you in a seemingly endless arc of time. All those weekends where you did so much. Or in fact, did so little. But the point was you did it together. Even if there wasn’t a constant stream of conversation, you had someone there. All of a sudden they aren’t. There’s now this void of time that needs to be filled. Yet within no time at all you are busier at the weekend than you have been in an age. You then wonder at how you once had so much time.
When you are brassic and you dream of that pay rise. That little extra would mean you could do more. Go on trips. Treat yourself. Save a little for a rainy day. When you get a pay rise in no time at all you feel financially stretched once again. How did you ever manage to live on that old wage? You grow to what you have around you. Finance included. You structure what you have, you manage with what you have. Bar a footballer who surely can’t spend over £100k a week. Mind you, those Bentleys and private jets are costly.
When things with friends (or lovers) change it’s hard to fill a space. They move abroad. They may leave your life for other reasons you may or may not understand. It hurts. You miss the things you had. Yet, you created memories and those cannot be taken from you. Where you spent so much time with them all of a sudden you don’t. Again, there is a void but in time that fills once more with new and equally rewarding friendships.
When a change is more absolute, when someone’s star is up (as my mother so poetically puts it), there is a deep sadness. An ache inside that is so strong that you feel it physically. All the things you wish you could share. The plans you had for those shared moments. The things that remind you. This too is a void. In time this is filled and you realise that the ache is still there, but it’s not as raw or ever-present. The void has been filled.
I believe the concept of a void is a spatial one, yet it is the emotional wrapper that we put around it to understand it. When it grows or constricts it is a change that we must adjust to. An adjustment to an expectation. This is often the hardest thing. There are pains that come with it. We are however more adaptable and flexible than we realise. We all handle it in different ways. Ultimately, throughout time we have learnt to fill the void.
CvS
Countess Von Simon 